Werewolf: A Real Dog

Rating: -4 out of 4!!!

Werewolves may be temporarily off the big screen; but these beasts are prowling once again in four recent video releases: The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, Huntress, Bad Moon, and Werewolf. Unfortunately, only Fever Swamp shows some originality - the others show banality. Coincidentally, Fever Swamp is the only affordable one ($9.95 - $14.95 price range) of the four!

Werewolf, is the worst. Those of you out there who are familiar with me know that I have probably seen more horror films than any ten individuals. You probably also know that I collect said films, “especially the beautifully bad” (as a former colleague of mine used to say). That being established, believe me when I tell you that I wouldn’t buy this bomb on a bet! The plot (or what passes for one) involves a werewolf’s skeleton unearthed in some obscure Mexican village; and the teeth of the skull still have the power to transfer the bestial ways. Don’t ask me to elaborate beyond that, because that task is nigh onto impossible! There are several werewolves in this mish-mash, each crummier than the last. The film appears to have been filmed over the span of a few years, as people’s hair lengths change from scene to scene. Richard Lynch is the only familiar name in this travesty, which was edited with spit and scotch tape. The make-up is so laughably lousy that the mangiest fuzzball flick that anyone can find will look eons better than this dreck. Bury this bone!

I hate ranking on werewolf films because, along with vampire movies, they are my favorite type of horror story. If this is to be the quality of endeavor, however, I’ll take vanilla! Inflict Werewolf on an enemy! Argh!